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Overcoming Self-doubt

Updated: Dec 14, 2023



Why do we doubt ourselves and what are the consequences? When we doubt ourselves, we could be hiding and not showing up, postponing things which we set as a priority, we could feel resistence or procrastinating. However, we might not be aware of why we do it. It just feels safe not to take the action.

Where does all the self-doubt comes from? The answer might be that it comes from beliefs we have learned about ourselves on our life journay. The unconscious programmming we learned in the family of origin, at school or other institutions.

I would say that self-doubt belongs to people as we have ego that is generating thoughts. It is a part of a human nature. It is something we all know and something that can influence our quality of life. Some amount of self-doubt might be considered as healthy but doubting ourselves too much might be harmful and negatively influencing our quality of life. It might be forcing us to avoid things which are important for us or not to express ourselves for fear of being rejected or ridiculed by others. And it is a painful experience. No wonder that we are hiding and trying to avoid it. But in order to live fulfilling life and life of our dreams we need to risk it sometimes. We need to come out of our comfort zone and show up for the things that are dear to us even though we are risking of loosing our reputation (things we believe about ourselves and want others to believe about us, our identity).

You never know who will like the thing that you have just created. Who will feel inspired by your story, your act of courage by showing up and overcoming your fears. We are not perfect, and we never meant to be. It is not a human business. If we want to learn something new, we need to do it. Self-doubt could be something, that is holding us back. The reason why we don’t show up for the thing, why we are hiding and postponing the things which we marked as important. Moreover, if something is important for us, we also feel more vulnerable in that matter.


So how can we find the way out of this experience?

In my opinion, practicing self-awareness and self-acceptance could be the way. What I mean by that is not to judge ourselves when we feel vulnerable and doubting our abilities about anything we want to perform, finding kindness toward ourselves in those situations and accept the moment the way it is.

I believe many limiting beliefs we have about ourselves are unconscious and are coming from the subconscious mind (i.e. what we learned about ourselves as children). They show up in the moments we need them the least. For example, in the moments just before you go to perform, teach some class or go to audition.

Other important thing how to work with the self-doubt might be starting to be aware of our thoughts and stories we tend to say about ourselves in those vulnerable moments. If we are capable to capture them, and there is enough space, we can start to question them. By questioning them we create space for more possibilities, other thoughts, that might be more uplifitng and encouraging.

Thoughts generate feelings. Our thoughts are reflected in our emotions and mood. When we doubt ourselves, it is reflected in our mood. And the mood gives rise to other thoughts. That is why we sometimes feel like running in the circle. We can practice to say ourselves new stories, more uplifting and practice being present when our mind is too active with generating all the stories from the past.

In order to be successful, we need to be consistent in the effort of rewriting our old belief system, as we probably spent some amount of time by believing the stories, which were not supportive, but wanted to protect us from the pain. Practicing the consistency and patience is another important fact of how to overcome self-doubt.

These are couple things and tips of what helps me with overcoming self-doubt. How do you deal with self-doubt and what helps you to overcome it? You can share it in comments.


With love,


Jindriska

 

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